And just like that, it was over...

Hi there, long time no speak.

I know, my fault entirely. But let’s put it all behind us & make up, ok? Because the truth is, I got distracted by things. By life. I took on some new projects & got caught up.

But I’m back now & I’m needing this little ‘ol blog of mine more than ever these days. I need to vent, need to get it all out.

Smooth & I have ended it. 

Well, at least, I’m pretty sure we have. It’s going on our second week apart (which feels like forever), and we’ve barely spoken a word. I’m back living with my sister, slowly removing all of my things from his place.

I’m a mess. I pretty much just weep helplessly while packing & unpacking all of my stuff and listening to sad songs. It’s all rather depressing really.  Like something out of a bad rom-com.

But, I think this needs to happen. Actually, I know it does.

Things have gotten too ugly between us to repair whatever is left of our relationship, while living the same space. 

We need some time apart, to think, to figure out what we can & can’t give to one another.

Whether we’re totally broken, or if we can save “us”, I don’t know. But I do know that love is there for sure. I feel it.

But happiness, & the motivation to work on getting it back, that’s what I’m not so sure about. It's going to be hard & I'm not sure if either of us has the energy for it. We’ll see, I guess.

…

And I’m not just writing this to make you feel sorry for me, or because I’m feeling sorry for myself (well, maybe just a little). 

I just want to put this out there - to the universe so to speak - so that whatever is to come next knows that I’m accepting this situation & open to receiving it.

That might sound crazy to you all but I don’t care. I strongly believe that good things fall apart so that better things can come together, and so I’m just saying that I’m ready for that better thing, whatever it might be.

I just hope it’s what I hope it is.