... (now) 28 & Single

Sooooo this could totally be because I'm still coming down off that new year's high (right into those January blues), or because I'm sitting here listening along to Carl Sagan's existentialist sermons, or because I'm back living with my folks, working a dead-end job, have no bf and am celebrating yet another wasted year of my life today (oh god I'm 28) buuuuuut - I need change.

(I feel like I wrote this same post exactly one ago. And I probably did. But it's true. And this time, I really mean it.)

For a while, I thought it was all just a matter of finding a new social circle, with new dating experiences, and maybe even a new relationship. I figured I just need to find someone who "fits" me better than my ex; someone more in sync my spirit. I thought I'd just set up some online profile when I was ready to start dating again, go out to bars, and suddenly find happiness enough in the mis adventures of Friday night "date nights".

But I've come to realize in the last few weeks that what I might actually need right now is a lot more than a just a new guy. As much as I'm aching for some male attention these days, I'm also kinda getting over it at the same time - and settling into the notion that what I'm really craving probably won't be found in the company of someone else.

I need "me time". 

I need to be selfish.

And I think I need adventure. (And I don't mean the kind you buy with a discount coupon on Living Social.)

As right as it is for me to be out of a relationship right now, I need to make sure that I fill that void with meaningful things, and not cats and not waste any more opportunities to do the things I've always wanted to do.

So, my birthday present to me this year is a promise. A promise, that I will take one chance in the next 11 months that will change my life. One big "yes"that will snowball into a million little ones.

... Funny enough, this is exactly what I suggested my ex do for himself when we split.

 

(Birthday flowers from my mummy)